another week has passed rather quickly. ok not that quick the first few days were mentally depressing. well...i am still trying to deal with it. i think my way of controlling my feelings and expressions improved a little but sometimes i still get into a ultra depressed mood. i dunno why but i seem to keep things to myself a lot recently. maybe its becos of the way life is. we all have to put on a brave front, smile and look happy when sometimes deep down u feel like crying. then after a day of smiling and pretending nothing has happened, u jus go home and cry urself to sleep. actually, that was how i behaved this week. ok i didnt cry myself to sleep.but i brought all my fears and troubles to sleep. this is my conclusion on why i have nightmares EVERY NIGHT since sunday.
first night i dreamt of the supernatural and was running for my life, then abnomalities, then last night i dreamt that there was a bombing at the school bus stop. like the one is london when the bus exploded. ya in my dream 961 exploded and in my dreams i was running for my life the whole night and my leg was injured by the bombing. and for 2 separate nights, there was something about dying. first i dream that i wanted to die becos i was so fustrated and the second one was that i am going to die cause terroists are going to kill me cause they are like a few hundred meters away shooting so i decided to call home and say i love you before dying. the wtf the phone was engaged when i was desperately calling becos the terroists are coming and i was planning to kill a few of them before they kill me. then i got woken up to go school for ptm. the rest of the dreams i cant remember. i have no idea what i am gonna dream tonight. all i know is that all these dreams show that i am still scared and troubled. i really want a nice dream where i can jus stop running. maybe the mass pe contributed to all these runnings.
Ange
11:06 am
