This is a personal entry which unlikely people will understand. sometimes u dunno who to talk to, how u say out ur feelings, that u talk to urself. below is angeline talking to her imaginery friend. i admit i have an imaginery friend for yrs. haha. its suppposed to be a secret but who that imaginery friend is, is really a secret...i guess its normal, like how some people talk to their soft toys...
4 years ago, in literature, during one of the short stories, we studied on the topic "Money cannot buy you happiness" it was about 2 men who betted 1 million. the bet was Man 1 will stay in this unlocked hse for 15 yrs and Man1 suggested that it is impossible. in the end, Man1 stayed for 15yrs minus one day and thus lost the bet on purpose. however, he walked away a learned man. during the 15 yrs, he gained great knowledge and he walked away a happy man despite his hair all white and body all haggard.
then, i felt that Man1 was stupid. why did he bet one million that he can stay in this place for 15 yrs. why the hell was he so stupid not to have left? is it true that money cannot buy u happiness???why did he feel happy being confined?
4 yrs later, right now, this moment, i ask myself. Am i happy? I am not poor, but why i dun feel blessed nor sad. maybe 40 yrs later, i will look back and say, yes i am happy, cause i did what i achieved based on my decisions.
self made decisions. not every one can do that. we need responsibilty, thought and courage and etc. courage to face up to everything and anything in ur path, may it be good or bad. then i ask myself, is it because i have no courage that i feel so vulnerable???am i brave enough. what is my flaw?? i know i am impatient and have a bad temperment but still why cant i handle things the way i what it too? why am i hiding??? why was hiding become my solution? when have i become a coward?? when can i walk with my head held high??? when can all these be over??
Ange
7:44 pm
