Now I get why people usually make sure that their last sem is as free as possible. Other than the fact that the poor brain has been completely drained out for by the last 7 semesters, there is an overwhelming gush of feelings as well. Most of the time, what I am claiming to feel contradicts with what I actually feel.In school, thank god for stablised grades and "safety nets", I could more or less make it through school by working on my assignments half-heartedly. And then there's job issue. Right now everyday I bring my phone around, keep it close to me and make sure I am there when the phone rings, especially during working hours. I do not know what kind of impression I give people, but there's this feeling that is very hard to describe. It somehow seems perfect, then on the other hand I cant help but ask if I am making the right choice. There's obligation involved, trust involved, fear involved, money involved, uncertainty involved, indecisiveness involved. Till I have no idea what I based my decision on. I hope I did it using my brain. Yea, use ur brain angeline. I dun like it when I use my heart to decide too much haha. In fact, I actually wonder when's the last time my heart got involved in my life, except for beating to keep me alive, and beating harder when I am exercising or nervous.
Ange
11:11 pm
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