If I start calculating from primary school, I have been studying for the past 17 years of my life. After 4 years, which is 8 semesters in NUS, I still can't fall asleep the night before the release of examination results...hahas. Results are important to me. Subconsciously.
I recall back in jc, one day in the bus on the way home from tuition, I heard a guy ask a girl what is her greatest regret. Her reply was not studying harder in Year 1 in uni, because that costed her a 2nd Upper Hons. I wondered (inside me) why she was so regretful, shouldnt we do our best, or at least it felt like we did our best whenever we take an exam? Anyway, I thank God for sparing me the pain that she felt. Because I missed 2nd Upper Hons by quite a bit. I regret not doing better in Year 1 too. But it was not so damaging because there are semesters whereby I didnt do very well to pull me up either. So now I am a high 2nd Lower. But its one grade lower nonetheless.
No awards, no deans list, I have always been a relatively ordinary student. Except in Pri 6 I was 2nd in class. But that was becos I was in a lousy class. In year 1, I was hoping I would graduate with a 2nd upper hons, hope dashed. In year 2, my wish was to get Dean's List once. Again, nowhere close, brain not smart enough. In year 4, my greatest wish was to have a hardcopy of Dissertation in the School of Design and Environment's Information Resource Center (IRC). It's our "library", with all the past dissertation from the whole faculty in it. Because there is a lack of space, starting from last year onwards, only dissertations with a min. of A- is allowed to be put on display in the IRC. It was mathematically impossible for me to get 2nd Upper anymore, so I would be relatively pleased with a B+. But as @joey_cheong like to say, expect the unexpected. I did it. And I did it unexpectedly well. A and A+ are worth the same. I got the highest grade of A+. The + sign made me feel invincible for only 3 people got it.
To know I beat the 1st Class and 2nd Upper students, to be one of the top 3 students in the whole cohort, is a boost to my confidence. This is also very important to me because I have been doubting my abilities. Now I know I am good enough to get into KF's GTS based on my grades, not just becos i was their intern, where my competitors seemed to be of high calibre. I wanna thank the people under my acknowledgement once again. I look forward to a new chapter in my life, as I close this one with a A+.
